How to Work Online When You're Addicted to the Internet

Hint: don't add powdered drugs to the equation.

Here’s an image for you:

Picture a secretary with a severe cocaine addiction whose job requires him to write memos with his nose.

In a giant pile of cocaine.

Weird way of doing things, I admit. Why on earth would you force someone with a crippling dependency to use the exact thing he’s dependent on to do his work?

It would make for a pretty tough gig in general (not just the addiction thing – have you tried learning nose cursive?), but the main rule for our secretary would have to be this:

Don’t breathe in.

Whatever you do, doooon’t breathe in. Don’t breathe in the fun.

I know you love cocaine, I know you need the effects it offers, but be professional please. You’re at work!

All your vices, only a click away.

That (admittedly ridiculous) image is a metaphor for a certain kind of knowledge worker.

A person who sits at an internet-connected screen all day while nursing an addiction to digital content.

A person like me.

I’ve struggled with this problem for years. I’ve gone through periods of heavy social media use, compulsive website checking, YouTube rabbitholing, etc., all while working days filled with meetings and to-do lists and, you know, the having of a job.

I’ve managed to get by. The addiction hasn’t derailed my career, and I always manage to muddle through and do my work well.

But like any functioning addict, there’s a huge cost to it all.

With that in mind, here are some methods I’ve found helpful in keeping my internet addiction under control during the workday.

1. Find out why you’re addicted.

This sounds simple, but it’s often anything but.

For me, I spent a long time thinking I was just weak and liked distractions. But it turns out to be a little more complicated.

I realized over time that I was turning to digital distractions in moments of panic – times when I wasn’t sure what was expected of me, or when I was stressed out about a situation with a coworker or client, or I felt I didn’t know how to do the work in front of me.

This was such a persistent pattern that, when I started to examine what had led me to turn to the internet or social media for compulsive clicking and scrolling, there was pretty much always an anxiety-inducing factor right there.

The roots of this go deep into my psychology (I’m a people pleaser who feels a need to appease others and appear to know the answer to every question), but I suspect that whatever your specific psychological makeup, something like this might be triggering your addiction too.

If you can get a rough sense of what kinds of situations cause you to turn to digital medicine for relief, you’re already on your way to improving things.

2. Be kind to yourself.

Is it weird to make this its own step?

I don’t think so. Because for many of us this is real, hard work.

Every time I would slip up and start doomscrolling instead of working, my inner critic leapt into action, yelling at me about being a terrible employee and a person with no discipline (not to mention talent) – an impostor at every level.

The Buddhists call this kind of self flagellation “the second arrow.”

There’s the first arrow – the pain of whatever circumstance is making us feel anxious and uncertain. That one’s beyond our control.

The second arrow is self-blame: how we choose to respond emotionally to, and judge ourselves for, the painful thing that is actually happening.

Psychologist and teacher Tara Brach has many excellent techniques for avoiding the second arrow.

One is simply to remember “it’s not my fault.” This requires investigating the stories you’re telling yourself about what’s happening and why.

It also means learning to respond, not react, so you have space to see what’s really happening.

Remember: you are a good person who is trying your best. It takes time and effort to loosen the grip of any addiction; if you’re working on it, that’s a win in itself.

3. Turn off the pings.

Notifications are useful if there’s an earthquake or a missile attack coming (although many Hawaiians might suggest you double check even those ones).

Outside of emergencies, I recommend turning off as many of your notifications as you can.

I no longer allow any messages to pop up on my computer. I used to have notifications enabled for things like Slack – every minute or two a little message would show up on my screen and absolutely slaughter my ability to concentrate.

That’s just text and images. If any of your digital tools have a notification sound, please, please go into the settings and disable it. Right now. Those “dings” are a form of psychological torture.

If you’re worried about missing something important, schedule a time (or times) each day when you check on any crucially important apps. That way you decide when you’ll shift your attention instead of your digital tools deciding for you.

4. Put your phone away.

This is a tough one for me, but I do my best: when I’m at work, sitting in front of my computer, I make sure my phone is somewhere else.

Ideally in another room, plugged in and charging, with the sound off.

The reason I’ve adopted this approach is that I’m arguably even more addicted to the type of digital distractions my phone offers up than what’s available on my computer screen.

If your laptop is a pile of cocaine, your mobile phone is crack: hyperpotent with awful side effects. A message from a friend or an innocent time check can turn into 15 minutes of unconscious scrolling and tapping, which then makes it very hard to get back to a place of focus.

Keeping your phone next to you is like trying to box two opponents at once. You’re going to get hurt. Remove the most dangerous fighter from the ring before you start.

5. Do one thing at a time.

If the “phone away” rule is hard, this one’s even harder for me, but I stand by it as good policy: pick one thing to do at any given time, and do only that thing.

Some days it feels like I’d have to be an octopus to keep up with all the things: answering messages, working on projects, planning for the future, checking my calendar, and on and on.

But I can’t do more than one thing at a time. No one can.

With that in mind, I strongly recommend following Cal Newport’s advice and using time blocking – a method where you plan out your day’s activities on paper in half-hour blocks – and then allow your plan to dictate what you’ll do at each moment.

The plan isn’t set in stone. If an important meeting comes up, you can rewrite the rest of your day to accommodate it.

But it means that you don’t have to decide in the moment between the 80 things you could be doing.

Once you know which one thing to do, make sure you’re only doing that: if possible, have one tab or document open and nothing else. Set a timer if you like so that you know how long to focus on that one thing.

It’s amazing how work that seems daunting or annoying can become delightful when you truly focus your attention on it and do nothing else.

6. Build a container.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to suggest hiding inside a giant box. You can do that too, if you like. Just don’t bring your phone inside.

I came across the idea of a container years ago (I could swear I read about it on Leo Baubata’s site Zen Habits, but I’ve never managed to find the specific post).

A container is an agreement with yourself governing your screen habits. It defines what digital distractions you tend to turn to, the reasons why, what you will do instead when you’re tempted, and how you will practice to keep yourself on track.

There are seven parts of a container. They tell you how long the container is going to be in place, how your digital addiction tends to manifest, what triggers it, what you are allowed to do instead of clicking/scrolling/engaging with digital stuff, what you do when you’re in trouble, who’s holding you accountable, and how you’ll keep checking back to see if you’re maintaining the container.

This is what mine looks like right now:

1. My practice period: Three weeks.

2. My exits: I use media to distract myself, including websites like The Guardian, The Onion, Pitchfork and others; social media like Twitter and Instagram; and podcasts like The Daily, The Ezra Klein Show, The Tim Ferriss Show and others.

3. My triggers: When I feel anxious, uncertain or scared, I turn to my exits as a way to avoid the feeling.

4. Allowable things: I can meditate, do my work, journal, write, make music, listen to music, read a book, talk to someone, cook, clean, tidy, organize, or do something for someone else.

5. My practice: When I am triggered, I pause and look at what’s really happening. If I can pause effectively, I will reread this container document and select an allowable thing. If not, I will notice that I have taken an exit, and calmly and lovingly reread this document and then pick something allowable.

6. Who I’m committing to: I commit to myself.

7. How I will report daily: I reread this container document each morning and see whether I’ve been maintaining it.

It might seem a little intense to read a whole list like this every morning, but it’s been transformative for me.

I completely rewrite the container every three weeks to make sure it’s up to date with what I need right now.

If you’d like to try it for yourself, here’s a templated version in Google Docs. Feel free to make a copy.

7. Find quality alternatives.

Internet addiction seems to function like drug addiction: the first time I accessed the internet, it was amazing. I could look up anything, watch whatever came to mind, research, browse, turn on, tune in, drop out.

But very quickly, I got used to that high and I needed more.

Instead of spending 10 minutes looking at awesome stuff I love, I started to spend two hours mindlessly scrolling in the hopes of finding something that vaguely interested me.

I’m willing to bet there are many other things in your life that give you that original feeling of awe and excitement.

They probably aren’t framed by a screen, though.

Instead of denying yourself the pleasure of scrolling in favour of not doing anything at all, why not offer yourself treats instead?

As you can see in the container above, I have a bunch of stuff I’m “allowed” to do instead of internetting.

Meditating (surprisingly nice once you get used to it). Reading (it’s like the internet but with only one long read on it that doesn’t make you hate yourself!). Making music. Listening to music. Watching a film.

It’s not always possible to step away from your screen during the workday, but in my experience it’s often much more possible than I am willing to admit. If you feel guilty about going for a walk to clear your head instead of staying at your computer, remember: you’re recharging the things that allow you to do your work well – your mind, body, and spirit.

8. Install some software.

I’ve tried a few different “time tracking” tools – software designed to block your access to specific sites and apps for a period of time so that you can’t fall into the internet rabbithole.

If they worked as advertised, they would probably be the first item on this list. Actually, maybe they’d be the whole article.

In my experience, while RescueTime and others are a good idea in theory, they tend to fail in practice because you are responsible for configuring them, and the part of you that’s addicted doesn’t actually want them to work.

Still, they can be a helpful reminder when you find yourself reflexively repeating the same damaging behaviour.

At the moment, I’m using a free Chrome plugin called “Just Focus”. It’s simple: enter the URLs you don’t want to be allowed to visit. Turn it on.

Next time you go to YouTube or Twitter or FenderGuitarSpecs.com (that last one’s not real, thank god), you’ll see a purple screen with an inspirational quote.

It’s irritating – which is maybe the point? – but it’s helped me pause long enough to realize I don’t really want to do what I was about to do.

How to start.

If you feel, as I sometimes do, like you’re writing memos in cocaine with your nose at work, I understand. I can’t claim to have entirely solved the problem myself, but using the techniques above has helped me be much better than I was.

If you’re looking for a first step, I think it’s this: say to yourself, with compassion and love, “behaving like this isn’t good for me, and I’d like to find a better way.”

From there, try a few things from the list above. If only one of them makes sense to you right now, do that one.

In my experience small changes that you actually act on can lead to bigger breakthroughs over time.

I wish you all the luck, and if you have any suggestions for things I didn’t put on the list, please send them my way.